Porn is love you can see.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
