I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
