are you still at the devil's house?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
