was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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