How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
