this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
