They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
