Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
