Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
