nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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