lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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