May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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