PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
