Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
