Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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