I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
