You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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