We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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