either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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