I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
