So drunk its hurt
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
