I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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