I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
