I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Randomize
