why didn't you poke me back
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
