goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
