you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
