Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize