Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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