Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
