And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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