What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
