dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
