Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
