i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize