If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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