White coat. Heels.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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