I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
