wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize