i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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