What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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