We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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