He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Randomize
