If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize