It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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