Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
