i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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