bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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