as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
