Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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