i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He shit in the fireplace
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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