Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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