two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
