So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
