Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
