Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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