piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
