She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You took a bar mat shot.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize