My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
