how can u be prego again
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
