it wasn't lemon gatorade
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
