I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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