Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she smelled like a LAN party
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
