Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
