I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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