i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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