When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
