I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize