I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I party with great urgency now.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
