If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize