remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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