Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
