Define "chronic" masturbator.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize