Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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