dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I have fence marks all over my body
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
